//Fear freezes your ability to be straightforward

Fear freezes your ability to be straightforward

2018-09-13T15:39:43+00:00

Why do we lose sight of the importance of being straightforward and honest?

Quality & Me

Subir shares short stories about what people do to make a difference everywhere they go. We can make huge contributions to the way we function as a society by standing out as an example within our own community: at work, at our places of worship, among our colleagues, friends, and family. All it takes is the courage to step up and being straightforward, thoughtful, accountable, and resilient.

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Books by Subir

The Power of LEO
The Ice Cream Maker
The Power of Design for Six
The Power of Six Sigma
Organization 21c

Think about it:  when we are scared, nervous, or afraid, we shut out the outside world.  We become less open and transparent.

Instead of accepting our true selves, and admitting that we are afraid, we put up a wall designed to keep out the truth.  We make things up to compensate—about how good-looking we are, about how clever or competent we believe ourselves to be, about how much money we make. We lose sight of the importance of being straightforward and honest. Fear can undermine openness and honesty in anyone—including me!

Like many parents, I tend to think my children should be perfect. Take my daughter, for example.  She’s a typical teenager.  I sometimes forget that she is a far better person than I was when I was at her age. I can be demanding.  In fact, at one point I didn’t think she was working hard enough and let her know.  As a result, she withdrew from me.  She put up a wall. The truth was, I was the problem.  I was afraid that she might not be all she could be.  But my approach just made things worse!  When I realized how negative I was being, I had to remind myself to have a caring mindset.

Here’s what I did.  I invited my daughter to go for a walk and talk.  And you know what—we had a great time and an even better discussion!  I realized how much she had accomplished and that I could learn as much from her, as she could from me.  I was no longer afraid that she might not be all she could be. The wall between began to crumble because neither of us as afraid to be straightforward. When she understood why I was so exasperated with her, she opened up about her own hopes, dreams, and yes—mistakes.  Fear had driven us from each other.  Honesty brought us back together.

What walls have you built because you are afraid?

Don’t be afraid of the truth

Encourage everyone – and I mean everyone – to be straightforward, to tell the truth, and to not be afraid. Without being straightforward, you can never make a difference.

Have you gotten the “Wake-up” call to be straightforward?

A director I was consulting with always expected people to come to him. This guy really believed that no news was good news. Like a lot of senior level executives, he expected people to come to him, not vice versa. The problem was, no news wasn’t good news—it was the opposite. Problems weren’t getting resolved.

How to make everyone a S.T.A.R.

One company had a return that equaled 5 times the cost of their investment in the program. Another company had a return that equaled 100 times the cost of their investment! It’s a true story. I know, because both companies were clients of my firm. Both companies got a return on their investment, but I still felt both frustrated and perplexed that one had done so much better. The reason for the difference kept puzzling me—why would one company do so much better using the same processes?

Making Choices

Subir reflects on his arrival into the United States with the promise of a job, only to find that the promise is broken. Practically penniless, Subir searches deep into his soul. Undefeated and undeterred, Subir pursues professors and department heads until he meets one who asks: You went to 20 departments, and now it is the 21st one; if I say no to you what you would do? Subir tells him, "I will go to the 22nd." This is Subir's story, not of conquest, but of perseverance in the face of making difficult choices.